What a partnership!

One thing I love about NYC couples is the partnership exhibited during the wedding planning process.  I love seeing a couple exhibit real enthusiasm and interest in planning the wedding together (unlike Drew Barrymore’s husband-to-be in this movie).  For some reason*, wedding planning is often seen solely as the bride’s job.  I can’t tell you how many bridal magazines, websites and books that I’ve read that are: a) targeted only toward women; b) spend time explaining sneaky (usually patronizing) tactics to get grooms involved or c) act as if all the groom has to do is literally show up on the day of the wedding.  Now I might be a pseudo-hippie from Berkeley, but I really think that all this bride-centric marketing is, at best misguided, and at worst, sort of offensive (to everyone).

First of all, not all weddings involve a bride and a groom.  Are we to believe that if two men are getting married, neither of them is expected to do or care about anything? They both just show up and hope for a wedding? That’s nonsensical.  Second of all, not to get too preachy, but marriages, no matter the gender of the couple, are first and foremost partnerships.  Getting married is the first step in a long line of important decisions you and your partner will make together, and as such, can (and should) act as “training wheels.”  Although many couples live together first, this is most likely the biggest financial investment a couple has made together, with the added difficulty of navigating complex familial relationships.

So to all the couples out there who are working together (dare I say, in tandem?) with one another to plan their big day, I salute you. As a wedding planner, I value the input of both sides of the partnership, and I relish the ability to meet with the couple as a whole, as much as possible.  Get involved! I promise you’ll have more fun at the party if you had a hand in planning it.

*Okay, I know the historical reason.  But it’s (mostly) anachronistic and inapplicable to today’s engaged couples. 

[Photo courtesy of The Family of Flickr]


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